Introduction
Let me paint a picture you’ll recognize. You want success without risk. A perfect partner without the messiness of actual relationships. A life filled with exotic travels and fast cars. A community that celebrates your wins. These feel like your dreams. But what if I told you they’re not? What if every desire you’ve ever had was borrowed from someone else? Buckle up. We’re diving into the uncomfortable truth about why you want what you want and how it’s quietly ruining your peace.
What Is Mimetic Desire And Why Should You Care?
French philosopher René Girard dropped a bombshell. He claimed humans don’t have original desires. We copy them like toddlers mimicking swear words. This mimetic desire explains why you suddenly crave that gadget your coworker flaunted or why entire friend groups develop identical TikTok obsessions.
Here’s the kicker. You don’t actually want the Lamborghini. You want the identity of someone who owns one. Status symbols are just membership cards to invisible clubs. Have you ever noticed how people defend their luxury purchases with technical specs no one asked about? It’s compensation theater. The car isn’t about speed. It’s about screaming “I belong” without opening your mouth.
When Wanting Turns Toxic
Mimetic desire starts harmless but quickly spirals. Imagine two kids playing peacefully until they both reach for the same toy. Suddenly it’s WWIII over a plastic truck neither really wanted. Adults aren’t different. We just fight over fancier toys.
Academia? A snake pit of professors sabotaging rivals over research credits thinner than cafeteria coffee. Corporate ladder climbs? More like Game of Thrones with ergonomic chairs. The object itself becomes irrelevant. It’s about beating the other person. Girard called this mimetic rivalry a fancy term for “I want it because you have it and now I hate you.”
How Societies Avoid Self Destruction
Ancient tribes had a brutal solution. When tensions peaked they’d sacrifice a scapegoat. Blame everything on one unlucky soul. Execute them. Poof. Unity restored. Modern versions are subtler but just as vicious.
Ever seen a CEO get fired after a company scandal? That’s corporate scapegoating. Or a celebrity dragged online for a decade old tweet? Digital sacrifice. These rituals let groups vent collective frustration while pretending to uphold justice. The target’s guilt matters less than the crowd’s catharsis.
Religion’s Unexpected Role In Keeping The Peace
Before you dismiss faith as outdated fairy tales consider this. Religions were humanity’s first antivirus software against mimetic chaos. Stories about humble saints and greedy kings weren’t just entertainment. They were psychological vaccines.
Buddha’s beggar bowl. Jesus shunning wealth. These narratives taught Don’t chase shiny things. Rules like Thou shalt not covet weren’t about morality. They were survival guides. Envy your neighbor’s new ox? Next thing you know you’re clubbing each other over livestock. Religion walled off that path.
Capitalism The Unexpected Peacekeeper
Money fights are better than actual fights. Capitalism channels mimetic rivalry into safer arenas. Want to prove you’re better than the Joneses? Out-earn them. Buy a bigger TV. Start a flashier startup.
This system has flaws (hello income inequality) but compare it to historical alternatives. Feudal lords settled scores with swords. Today’s tycoons use hostile takeovers. Progress? Debatable. But at least you’re not bleeding out in a field.
Why Social Media Is Gasoline On The Mimetic Fire
Instagram is desire photocopier. Every scroll injects new wants you never knew existed. That influencer’s Bali vacation (province of Indonesia). Your ex’s engagement ring. A stranger’s startup exit. It’s a 24/7 highlight reel designed to make your life feel inadequate.
Worse? Algorithms feed you carbon copies of yourself. You’re trapped in an echo chamber of identical ambitions competing for the same prizes. No wonder Gen Z reports historic anxiety levels. It’s hard to breathe when everyone’s chasing the same oxygen.
Breaking The Mimetic Spell
Awareness is step one. Next time you covet something ask: “Do I want this or do I want to be someone?” That pause alone disrupts the autopilot.
Other survival tips:
- Curate your models: Follow people who expand your worldview not mirror your insecurities.
- Embrace ugly authenticity: Post unedited moments. Normalize imperfection.
- Practice radical gratitude: Write down three things you have that others might envy.
Final Thoughts From Someone Who’s Been There
I used to hustle for validation like it was oxygen. Fancy titles. Designer labels. The whole charade. Then I noticed a pattern. Every achievement left me emptier. The high lasted minutes. The burnout lasted months.
Here’s what I wish someone told me earlier. Your worth isn’t a stock price. It doesn’t rise or fall based on others’ portfolios. Real freedom starts when you stop playing musical chairs with society’s approval.
FAQ
Can I ever have original desires?
- Probably not. And that’s okay. The goal isn’t originality. It’s choosing models that align with your values versus chasing hollow status.
Is all competition bad?
- No. Healthy rivalry drives innovation. It becomes toxic when your self-worth hinges on winning.
How do I avoid social media envy?
- Follow accounts that inspire action not insecurity. Mute anyone who makes you feel lesser. Remember—comparison is the thief of joy.
What if I “like” wanting nice things?
- Enjoy them. Just know why you’re reaching. Is it genuine preference or fear of being left out?
Can societies ever escape mimetic traps?
- Unlikely. But individuals can. Start by questioning your why daily.
Walk away with this. You’re not a robot programmed by others’ dreams. The first step to rewiring? See the strings. Then decide which ones to cut.
